Things I Will Allow My Daughter To Do
One of my officemates saw my tattoo the other day and he
asked me if I will allow my daughter to have a tattoo someday…I said yes but
only when she is over 21 already. That way, she can make an informed decision
about it.
And that office exchange gave me a new
blog topic to write about. Things I will allow my daughter to do. Which I
believe is a good topic now that my daughter is 14 and soon, she’d be 18 and
can already be considered as an adult.
Well, here goes:
1) She can ONLY have a boyfriend when she is already 18. Before that
age, she has to present a very good and tight argument why she should and if
she convinces me, maybe, JUST maybe, she can have a boyfriend sooner.
2) As for clothes, well, considering the times, then she can wear what
she sees other girls her age wear. I am never conservative and I have my share
of miniskirts, tight clothes and spaghetti-strapped tops, hence, if I can wear
them, so can she.
3) No smoking until she already earns her own keep. I stopped smoking
so that I can have a longer time to see her bloom so it will be both for our
best that she bears the costs if she wants to take up smoking.
4) Drinking. Hmmmm…She can start at 18 but better that she only drinks
what she can bear. No drinking beyond what she is capable of. I can even show
her how to know how much she can bear or not.
5) As for tattoos and body piercing, fine by me but not until after she
turns 21 and I will only say yes, if the tattoo and/or body piercing can only
be seen when deliberately shown i.e. back, abdomen, butt, anywhere hidden.
Anywhere where she will not be judged simultaneously as soon as seen!
6) Going first base – 18
7) Going second base – 18
Going third base – when she finishes college.
9) The whole nine yards – when she finishes college.
10) Getting married – Only when she is SURE that the guy loves her as
much as she loves him and when she already has work that she is happy with.
Bottomline though is that all those
written above are only her guidelines and the final decision-making is still up
to her. After all, I may be her mom but she is she and only she knows what will
be best for her.
I can guide her through the path she
wants to take but I should try my best not to intervene because I know she will
only learn well when she has gone through life on her own.
Being her mom though, I am torn. As I
have seen how life ultimately is, I cannot help myself at times, so I try to
steer her away from what I perceive to be life’s landmines. I do not really
want to intercede yet I rather that she get mad at me than see her suffer the
pains that life throws her way.
Oh, well, a mom got to do what a mom got
to do. I can only LOVE her as much as I can, guide her through life the best
way I can and hope that somehow, she knows that all these, I am doing for her
and for her alone.
